you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
