Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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