Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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