where does the pee come out of this thing
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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