I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
