no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
