Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
