Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
