Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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