Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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