Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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