wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
