quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
