At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
