Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
