when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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