I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
