Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
