Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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