This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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