guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
