Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
