the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
