Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
