Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
