I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
MIDGETS
????
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
