Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
