If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
