so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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