if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
