omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
