I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
