jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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