He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
