He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
