Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
