It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
