I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How external is "for external use only"?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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