whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize