I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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