I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
