i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
