why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
MIDGETS
????
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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