They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you had me at cake vodka
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
