Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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