I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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