I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
