Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Your penis caused this!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
