moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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