is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
