sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Non-Jews are for practice
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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